The Best Tips on How to Tell Someone You Want a Divorce

The Best Tips on How to Tell Someone You Want a Divorce

October 1, 2023

By FairWell Family Law Mediation

Ending a marriage is difficult for all parties involved. Here are some of our greatest tips on how to tell someone you want a divorce.

In the United States, between 40% and 50% of marriages lead to divorce later on.

However, the prevalence of divorce doesn’t make it any easier when it happens to you. Knowing how to tell someone you want to divorce can seem impossibly complex.

However, as difficult as this situation is, many people have navigated it before. They have also come up with tips and advice to make things easier. Learning more about these tips can help you decide how to handle telling your spouse you want a divorce.

Read on to learn all about the top things to keep in mind about how to tell someone you want a divorce.

Find the Right Time to Tell Your Spouse

Sometimes, managing this process well is more about avoiding mistakes than it is about doing anything especially right. Some people decide that they want a divorce and then tell their spouse right away. However, without proper preparation, this might not go as well as you might hope.

On the other hand, some people are in the middle of an argument with their spouse when they decide to break the news to them. This can make an already difficult situation much worse. Instead, take your time to think about how you will tell your spouse you want a divorce.

Resist the temptation to break the news to them on a whim. Find a time when you are both as relaxed as you can be under the circumstances. Then, give your spouse the news directly.

Be Firm When Talking About Getting a Divorce

One of the problems with telling someone you want to divorce right after you decide you want one is that you may change your mind. At least, your spouse might think so if you have only recently come to this decision. When you tell your spouse you want a divorce, there is a good chance they will try to talk you out of it.

At this point, it is important to be firm so as to avoid giving them false hope. Some people find it hard to imagine telling their spouse they want a divorce because they can’t figure out how to do it without hurting them. However, this may seem hard because it is impossible.

At the end of the day, there is a certain amount of hurt your spouse might feel. Even though being direct and firm may seem harsher, it is actually kinder in the long run. Acting like you might change your mind can cause your spouse much more pain later on when you don’t.

Consider Writing a Letter to Your Spouse

Depending on your situation, it might be wise to try writing a letter letting your spouse know you want to begin the divorce process. It can be difficult to know how your spouse will react when you begin to tell them. When you write a letter, you can make sure to take your time to express all of your most important thoughts in an articulate way.

You can even combine this method with speaking with your spouse in person. You might tell them that you want a divorce and that you have written a letter explaining the details to them. Then, you can ask them to read your letter and think things over before responding to you.

Practice Telling Your Spouse You Want a Divorce

One of the best divorce tips is to practice telling your spouse the unhappy news a few times before it happens. That way, you can see what kinds of mistakes you might make and avoid them.

However, the benefits of practicing difficult conversations are often difficult to see until you do it for yourself. By repeating your message a few times, you might find that you find better articulations that can help you break the news without being unnecessarily hurtful.

Prepare for Your Spouse’s Reaction

Whether or not you go through these practices, you might want to think about how your spouse will respond. If you think they might try to convince you to change your mind, you can also practice what you will say to them so they understand how serious you are. If you are concerned about hurting their feelings, you can practice offering whatever comfort feels appropriate to you.

On the other hand, some people find that once they start telling their spouse they want a divorce, they find it difficult to stay calm and avoid saying things in anger. You might also want to practice noticing when you are beginning to get riled up and gracefully disengaging so that you can come at things from a different angle.

Find a Divorce Mediation Attorney to Help You

If you want to break the news to your spouse to go as smoothly as possible, you might consider hiring a lawyer with relevant experience.

Divorce mediation attorneys help their clients work through the divorce process from beginning to end in a wide variety of difficult situations. As a result, they have a lot of personal experience seeing what kinds of strategies make breaking this bad news easier and what can make it harder.

Working with a divorce mediation attorney can be a powerful way to invest in a quicker divorce resolution. This can also come in handy when you craft agreements related to things like child custody and property division. Having an experienced lawyer help you break the news to your spouse can lay a firm foundation for an amicable negotiation later.

Know How to Tell Someone You Want a Divorce

We hope that learning more about how to tell someone you want a divorce has been helpful to you. Although this process is never easy, taking the right steps to prepare can make it much easier than it might be if you wing it. Depending on your situation, you might want experienced help on your side to navigate this complicated situation.

To find out more about how you can find great Minnesota divorce mediation lawyers for your needs, contact us at FairWell Family Law Mediation at any time!


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