A Big Decision with Future Implications
Despite some people’s best efforts to make a marriage work, sometimes they simply fail to hold up. When cracks begin to show in the foundation of a relationship and work has been done to try and fix them with no success, divorce may be the best option. However, this decision should not be made lightly; rather, think carefully about the choice you are about to make.
To help you, consider these questions as you ponder whether or not divorce is right for you.
Why Are You Considering Divorce?
Perhaps the first question you should ask yourself is why you are thinking about ending your marriage, to begin with. Review the reasons why you feel your relationship is in a rocky position and how you got to the point that you have. If you haven’t shared your concerns with your spouse, you need to do so before rushing to a decision as big as divorce; if you have, however, then you can begin pondering your options.
Are Your Needs Being Met?
Humans have many needs to be met throughout their lives that can be boiled down to several categories: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. When you get married and form a relationship with someone, that person can end up meeting many of those needs in various ways. Over time, however, your spouse may no longer be able to meet those needs, either through no fault of their own or through their unwillingness to meet them. If you feel as if your needs are not being met and have discussed how you feel with your spouse, divorce may be the best option.
Have You Done Anything to Fix the Issues?
Divorce may rush to the top of your mind as your priority option to solve your current situation, but if you haven’t given your spouse the opportunity to work with you on resolving your issues, then you aren’t giving them a fair chance at staying together. Think through what you and your spouse have done to try and strengthen your relationship by addressing known issues. If you feel that you and your spouse have done all that you can, then consider the remaining questions.
Would You Be Happier Without Your Spouse?
This is a rather difficult question to answer because one cannot simply look into the future to see the end result of a divorce. However, take your current feelings into account; if you are not happy now and if things do not change from where they currently stand, what are the chances you will be happy in a few weeks or months? What about in a few years? As challenging as it can be to try and predict the future, you should try to be honest with yourself about how realistic it may be to expect happiness in your current situation.
Do You Still Love Your Spouse?
This may be the hardest question to answer honestly because what you answer can be telling of where you go from here. When you answer this question, put your feelings aside and think of love as a choice; feelings come and go throughout life, but the decision to choose love is something that everyone must make every morning when they wake up. Think of the question this way: when you wake up in the morning, are you still able to choose to meet your spouse’s needs and love them for who they are?
Can You Work With Your Spouse Peacefully?
If you’ve decided to move forward with a divorce, another set of questions may come up revolving around how you wish to proceed. Mediation works as an option for couples who wish to work through their issues without the drama of the courtroom or a costly process. At FairWell Family Law Mediation, we can help you bid “FairWell” to an ugly divorce and help you achieve a solution that meets your needs.
Learn more about mediation or schedule your guidance call by contacting us at (651) 409-9093 or by visiting our website.